I'm with the Band...and with Food Allergies

I often focus my updates on exciting travels, destinations and trip planning, but lately I've had a lot of new experiences at home since I've started a band. I've performed solo as a children's food allergy educator for nearly two decades, but being part of a band is new for me. With it, comes new dynamics with food that I'm learning how to navigate in real time.

Rock & roll....meet food allergies!

Last week, I played a gig with my new band called Fir & Bergamot. (the name comes from two scents we love and harmonize well together.

It was a big night as it was our first "dinner show" where we performed on a beautiful summer night for a patio crowd enjoying delicious food and wine pairings. 

We were performing for more than three hours and had over 30 songs on the setlist. In the days leading up to it, my mind was almost entirely focused on music prep.

Guitar chords.
Lyrics.
Transitions.
Setlist order.
Gear.
Timing.

Food allergies honestly weren’t on my mind.

Which is funny, because after living with food allergies for most of my life - and after building a company that helps people communicate them - you might think I’d have every possible scenario covered by now.

But that’s the thing about food allergies.

New situations still pop up.

And sometimes, you don’t realize what you should have prepared for until you’re already in the middle of it.

The Surprise Meal

Because we’re just starting out as a music group, we’re still in that early stage where little bonuses like food or drinks at a gig are a pleasant surprise. They’re not always expected, and they’re not always discussed in advance.

So when a beautiful gourmet meal was brought out for us during one of our breaks, I was genuinely surprised.

The staff kindly walked us through the dishes.

And as they described them, I quickly realized that every single option had one of my allergens clearly in it. I hadn't mentioned my allergies beforehand as I really wasn't expecting this.

In my mind, I was there to play music. That was the job. That was the focus.

The Old Feeling of Not Wanting to Be a Burden

In that moment, I had a choice.

I could have spoken up and asked if there was any possibility of a safe alternative.

But instead, that old familiar food allergy feeling kicked in:

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

I didn’t want to come across as difficult.
I didn’t want to seem like a musician diva.
I didn’t want to disrupt the moment.

So I quietly excused myself, walked down the road, and grabbed a slice of pizza from a fast food spot.

It was fine. I was safe. I ate something. 

But I also missed out.

Not just on the food, but on the moment.

My bandmates were sitting together, enjoying this unexpected reward after playing music for hours. It was one of those small team-building moments that feels special because it wasn’t planned. We got free stuff! We were celebrating a good night.

And I wasn’t there for it.

I was down the street eating alone.

The Point of the Night Wasn’t Food

To be clear, the night was still a success!

The point of the evening wasn’t food for me. It was music. And I was genuinely happy to keep the focus there.

But it made me realize something important:

Even when food isn’t the main event, food can still become part of the experience.

That’s true for gigs, weddings, conferences, work events, birthday parties, school trips, travel days, sports tournaments, and so many other moments.

Sometimes we prepare for the obvious part of an event and forget about the food situation completely.

For me, that meant preparing for 30 songs but not preparing for the possibility of a meal.

What I’ll Do Differently Next Time

My biggest lesson is simple:

I need to ask more questions before a gig.

Not in a complicated way. Not in a demanding way. Just a quick check-in.

Something like:

“Will food be provided for the performers? If so, I have food allergies and would be happy to share details in advance in case any safe accommodation is possible.”

It doesn’t guarantee anything. And that’s okay. 

But it gives the venue or host a chance to prepare. It also gives me a chance to make a backup plan before I’m standing in front of a beautiful meal I can’t eat.

Next time, I can pack something more substantial.
I can mention my allergies ahead of time.
I can ask what to expect.
I can avoid putting myself in the position of deciding in the moment whether to speak up or disappear.

We’re Always Learning

The funny thing is, I’ve had food allergies for so long.

I’ve traveled internationally.
I’ve eaten in countless restaurants.
I’ve spoken about allergies in schools.
I’ve performed food allergy awareness assemblies for thousands of kids.
I literally run Equal Eats.

And still, I encounter new scenarios that catch me off guard. I'm new to "band life" and I'm sure this will become more second-nature in time.

Whether you’re newly diagnosed or you’ve been managing food allergies for decades, there will always be new situations to navigate.

It's hard to be perfect, as managing food allergies is rarely black & white.

But if we take time reflect and learn, we'll be that much more prepared for next time.

What about the Concert?

Did I forget any chords or lyrics that night?

Of course.

Not many. But a few.

Would I have forgotten fewer if I had one less thing on my mind during the show?

Maybe.

That’s something I’m thinking about.

Because food allergy preparation isn’t just about the meal itself. It’s also about reducing the mental load.

When I know I have a plan, I can be more present. More relaxed. More focused.

Whether that means enjoying a meal with my bandmates or remembering the bridge of a song, preparation helps me stay in the moment I actually came for.

And that’s the real takeaway for me.

Before your next trip, event, performance, wedding, conference, or summer adventure, take a few minutes to think beyond the obvious.

Ask:

Will food be involved?
Who should I tell in advance?
What’s my backup plan?
What can I bring with me?
How can I make the experience easier for myself?

Sometimes the thing you’re preparing for isn’t food at all.

But food may still show up.

And when it does, a little preparation can make all the difference.